


Because I'm Scared

by HAM56



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-10
Updated: 2014-06-29
Packaged: 2018-02-04 03:07:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1763701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HAM56/pseuds/HAM56
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean has been friends with Jimmy for years and they've become the best of friends. One night, while cleaning Dean's dad's basement, they discover a peculiar book with weird instructions in Latin. Dean successfully convinces Jimmy to read it for him, only to be surprised by an angel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was during first or second grade. Dean Winchester had it easy with making friends; getting people's attention. He had no problem at all making everyone during recess look at him as he scored another basketball, or cracked a joke to make all the other kids laugh. But then he started noticing a little boy named Jimmy, sitting alone at a table eating his sandwich. Of course, Dean shrugged and didn't think much of him at first. But then he started noticing how Jimmy never paid attention to him. He would just sit at the table and eat his snack, or sometimes read a kids bible with pictures. Dean got a bit annoyed at how Jimmy never spared a glance at him when he brought over his pet lizard to show of to the other kids, or did what he thought was a sick dance move. But more than anything, he was intrigued. Why was little boy Jimmy sitting all alone? Why does he never smile? So one day, a very hot day that made Dean's mouth dry, he sat at the table in front of Jimmy and said "Hey, what's up?"

And that's how it all started.

***

Dean and Jimmy instantly became friends. Dean would start going over and sitting with Jimmy, ignoring all the other kids who would want to talk to him, and spend the whole recess trying to get Jimmy's attention. He would bring Jimmy over to his house and show off his new skateboard. In middle school, Dean would make Jimmy an eye witness to the water balloon prank he pulled on his little brother, Sammy. Freshman year, Dean congratulated Jimmy on finally reaching puberty and got a punch in the arm. Dean would show off all the pretty girls he picked up to Jimmy, because the dude never seemed to get any. Didn't matter much, though, since the dude was as religious as you could get. Which Dean didn't mind; he just liked teasing him. Dean would put powder into his brother's brownies at lunch, and watch the fit that happened as soon as it hit his tongue. Laughing his ass off, Jimmy's mouth curved into a small smile - the most he ever seemed to smile unless he was laughing, which was rare - and tell Dean yet again how he should leave his brother alone. "Nah, nah, it's okay," Dean would say while wiping a tear from his eye. "Woo, he'll definitely get me back for that one." And when Sammy got his first date, Dean teasing him about the underwear he should wear, Jimmy would sit on the edge of the bed lightly laughing about how brotherly they are. When Jimmy's two year old sister died, Dean was there at the funeral. And when Jimmy started crying during Dean and Sam's brotherly fights about how he could never have a relationship like that with his sister now, Dean would pat his back and coo him still he stopped crying.

It was senior year, the beginning of the first semester, and Dean was stretching as he woke up and admired the warmth of the sun. He knew it was not a popular opinion, but Dean loved the heat. He got to school and slapped Jimmy on the shoulder as a greeting, smiling and remembering how this firm fucker used to be little Jimmy Novak, sitting alone at his table and eating his sandwich. "Hey, bro!"

Jimmy looked down at the floor and smiled shyly. "I wouldn't call me your 'bro'."

"Hey, you're practically part of the family. Everyone knows this!"

"I guess," Jimmy looked back up at Dean.

"You're coming over tonight, right? We're planning on ordering some pizza and looking through all the junk in our basement."

"Yeah, sure. I bet your father hid a lot of interesting stuff down there."

"Yeah, well Bobby said it's about high time we cleaned that bitch up, but I want to look at all the cool stuff first. I think I saw a gun in there once." Dean wasn't surprised when he saw a small moment of hesitation go through Novak, him being a fan of peace and all, but Dean personally loves weapons. The bell soon rung after Dean's last statement and he headed off to first period Math. Jimmy went off to his English.

***

At the house, Dean was poking some piece of rusty metal with his foot. Everything down there was dusty and brown and covered in spider webs. No one rarely went to this part of the house, it being behind iron doors in the basement, because it's where Dad spent his time if he wasn't drinking or out hunting with his buddies. But no one really liked to bring him up in conversation; Bobby was the one taking care of Sam and Dean now, and they're all mutually glad for that.

"So, a lot of junk," Dean kicked the flat metal out of the way while Jimmy just stared at the stuff lying on the floor.

"This isn't going to end well, is it?"

"Don't be such a downer. Bobby and me already moved the furniture out so he and Sam can fix them up, so all we gotta do is go through this pile of shit."

"And most of it is rusty metal pieces for who knows what you're father was doing."

Dean didn't reply, just stood there looking at the wall, which paint has torn off in some places to reveal older looking wooden planks. "Alright, let's get started."

***

It was approximately two hours later, both Dean and Jimmy were tired from digging through the surprising amount of metal covering the place. Jimmy was about ready to go home; it was almost supper time and his parents, not at all to his liking, are of the stricter nature. They have found one gun, that Dean geeked out for a good 20 minutes at, a few crowbars, and some old books that didn't seem interesting in the slightest. But then Dean found something all the way at the back of the room that piqued his interest. He saw it sticking out from under yet another piece of rusty metal, and picked it out. "Hey, look at this-" Dean was going to give it to Jimmy, it being another book and Jimmy was currently flipping through the ones they found on the other side of the room, until he realized exactly what it was.

Dad's journal.

Part of him froze, but only for a split second. He opened it up and tore through the pages, only to find out most of them were torn out or ripped apart. Dean got annoyed at the lack of full pages. And then became angry. He thought he finally found something worthwhile - something that belonged to the once great man that was his father. He wanted to throw the worthless thing at the equally worthless basement wall.Jimmy quickly took notice of Dean's reaction and became solemn. He wanted to go over and give comfort to his friend, but he knew how well Dean took to moments like that - unless he was the one starting it, of course.

"Well," Dean said after a long moment. "That sucks."

"I'm sorry, Dean."

"There are still a few pages with words and stuff on it, at least. I wonder where he put the rest."

"I have no idea."

"Yeah," Dean trailed off and stared into space.

"Well, I should be getting home," Jimmy stood up and patted his dusty trench cost, which for a reason Dean doesn't know he started wearing all of a sudden. It was weird, but Dean didn't really question it.

"Yeah," Dean stood up, too, and patted off his clothes as well. He grabbed all the books, including Dad's journal, and followed Jimmy upstairs. He left them on Bobby's desk and saluted Jimmy goodbye as he left the door.

***

The next weekend, Jimmy got to stay over at Dean's. It wasn't a surprise in general to anyone at this point, though; it was pretty much expected he stay every minute possible at Dean's by now. Jimmy decided he wanted to spend the time over skimming through the books they found in the basement, while Dean was simultaneously flipping through some of his magazines on the couch. Jimmy found them particularly interesting because they were about myths and legends and spells and monsters, and some even about God. He decided to ignore John's, Dean's dad's, journal. Then he came across the widest book at the bottom of the stack. He noticed on it how it was decorated with weird, twirling designs and in the center was a circle with four small green stones. It was a weird looking book, and when Jimmy opened it it got weirder.

***

Inside the book, which had no title on it, were tons of spells and words written in other languages and a couple detailed, sketchy drawings of things Jimmy couldn't recognize as anything he's seen before. He flipped over to a drawing of a monster with an appalling, big mouth that covered it's head and got spooked enough to close it and place it a few feet away. Dean took notice and turned his head directly to look at Jimmy and see the book sprawled out on the floor. "How come I've never noticed that one?"

"Because we pretty much shoved all the books into one pile after the second one," Jimmy replied.

"Ah," was all Dean said. "What's in it?" Dean turned his body around and pushed himself off the couch onto the floor, and then knelt close to the book. He examined it closely for a brief minute and then opened it to see the weird drawings of monsters and people with black eyes. "Cool," Dean smiled, clearly entertained by the murderous beasts that the book displayed. Jimmy just stared at it wide eyed. The other books may have had things in them like this one, but this particular book spoke of sin; it did not mention God, or any other heavenly beings. Just evil.

Dean read some of the chants in the book, and after a minute showed it to Jimmy. "Hey, look, we should mess around with this."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Jimmy retorted, clearly a bit shaken up by what he saw.

"Don't be such a pussy, man. Light some candles, turn off the lights, sit under a bed sheet..." Jimmy looked even more scared. Dean rolled his eyes. "I was only teasing. But, seriously, it's not like it will actually work, so don't be so scared." Jimmy didn't move still but he relaxed a little. Dean put the interesting book aside, and continued reading his magazines until it became dark out.

***

"Come on, let's read it."

"I said I don't want to, Dean."

"Why not?" Dean was practically begging, for annoying purposes, at Jimmy. He wanted to make him read something that was in Latin, a language Jimmy studies at school, that said it could be used to summon something. Dean didn't know what, but something. And he figured it was a hoax anyway; those kinds of things don't exist.

"Dean, what if it works?"

"It won't work; I know you're religious, but come on, man. You can't tell me you believe it could actually summon something!"

"Then why do you want me to read it so badly?"

"Because I want to hear that sweet Latin come off your pretty lips," Dean was teasing Jimmy, who wasn't a homophobe but still tensed up at these kinds of acts. And Dean wasn't into guys, but it still didn't mean it wasn't fun to joke around like he was currently doing. Jimmy stared at Dean for a long moment, with a look of "Are you sure?" Dean replied with a face of "Please, mommy."

Jimmy sighed and said "Okay, fine."

The moon was high, outside was pitch black, and everyone else in the house was asleep. To make things even more bothersome for Jimmy, Dean made their only light a couple candles he placed around the room. Jimmy started reading, words Dean could not understand, and then stopped: "I don't even know what most of these mean." But he continued anyway, much to Dean's amazement, and he continued speaking the words long enough for Dean to wonder why he hasn't said anything. Well, in English. Or stopped. Dean began noticing how after a few minutes, Jimmy seemed to go completely fluent in the language. He wasn't stuttering or halting to reread a word anymore, or sounding unsure of his pronunciations. Jimmy was being completely sure of his speech. Dean increasingly became worried, and was about to make Jimmy stop when suddenly the room started becoming lit. More illuminated than candles would let normally, anyway. And the source was what seemed a straight path from the ceiling to Jimmy. The bright white light soon consumed the whole room, and Dean couldn't hear a single thing; it was like a bomb had gone off. His heart was pounding, and he was about to scream for Jimmy when the light vanished. Dean removed his arm from his eyes and peered over at his friend, and he could swear it was like the white light was slipping into him through his eyes and mouth, which was hanging open. But it happened too quick to really tell. Everything happened within a minute.

After a moment of staring at his friend, who didn't seem to move even to breathe, Dean finally asked "Hey, Jimmy, you okay?" Jimmy slowly turned his head to peer over at Dean, in movements that seemed abnormal. His face looked really confused, and like he was trying to read Dean. Dean soon began to be uncomfortable, and wondered why Jimmy was acting so differently. "Hey, Jimbo?" It was the name Dean only used when he wanted to annoy the crap out of him.

After what felt like a solid minute of staring, Jimmy finally opened his mouth: "I am not...Jimmy."


	2. Chapter 2

Dean froze. He didn't know what to do - what to think. This was all too...weird. And Jimmy's voice suddenly got a lot more deep, and a lot less friendly than it usually sounded.

Suddenly, the Jimmy-who-claims-not-to-be-Jimmy stood up. It was at a slow pace, and he was carefully eyeing everything - like he was taking in every detail he could of the place. "What am I doing here?" Jimmy said, in his new, weirdly deep voice.

"I-I don't know," Dean stuttered, still confused at his friends behavior. "We were just reading a book, and then you got all weird..." Jimmy moved his eyes to lock onto Dean's. He then broke it after what seemed like forever and looked at the stack of old books on the floor next to him; specifically, the one he was just reading until he became like this. It was lying on the floor wide open still.

Jimmy's eyes narrowed. "Why do you have this book?"

"I don't- What do you mean?" Dean was still weirded out by Jimmy's voice; he didn't know it could go so deep like that. Jimmy looked down at Dean. He also didn't know Jimmy's eyes could be so focused, like it was looking through Dean into his very being.

He grabbed the book off of the floor, and examined it as carefully as he seemed to look at everything else now. Jimmy's eyebrows narrowed, and he spoke: "What's your name?"

"I-excuse me?"

"I said," Jimmy lowered the book and started at Dean, with a really intense look that almost sent shivers down Dean's spine. "What is your name?"

"Dean, you know, the guy you've been best friends with since forever. Jimmy, what's going on?"

"I already told you, I'm not Jimmy. And I was never your 'friend'," he turned around, book in hand, and seemed to start walking to the door.

Dean grabbed his shoulder and forcibly turned him around. "How, then?" he exclaimed. "You look and sound /exactly/ like Jimmy. Well, besides turning your voice down a few notches, but come on! What's the joke?"

"There is no 'joke'."

"Then who are you?!"

Jimmy-supposedly-not-Jimmy glanced to the side and let out a very slight sigh. He moved his eyes back at Dean and said, very sternly: "I am not Jimmy. My name is Castiel, and I am an angel of the Lord."

***

"Wh-what? An angel?"

"Yes, Dean."

"That doesn't even make sense. Angels don't exist!"

"They do exist and they have for a long time, Dean."

"But even if they did exist, why would an angel take over Jimmy?"

"Because you summoned me."

"I- we, did not summon you," Dean was starting to get angry. What was with Jimmy? Stop playing around!

"This book you were reading," Castiel glanced at it and lightly traced his fingers over the surface. "It's filled with ancient rituals. One of which can summon an angel into the body of the reader, hence why I'm here."

"Alright, well, and I'm not saying you are an angel but if you were, how do we kick you out?"

"We don't."

"We- what?" Dean has been saying 'what' a lot today.

"There is no known way to bring an angel back to Heaven. The fact that your father had something to bring an angel from Heaven to Earth in the first place really says something about his status, which is already well-known."

"Wait, you know about my father?"

"I know a lot about your father."

Dean paused and contemplated this. "So, do you know about me?"

"Yes; I lied about not knowing your name. I felt like it would be common human courtesy to ask."

Dean slumped and smiled. "You have to be Jimmy. There's no way. None of this makes any sense."

"Maybe not to you, but to someone else."

"Who then?" at this point, Dean was getting very frustrated.

"Bobby," 'Castiel' said this, his face dawning on realization.

Before Dean could properly reply, 'Castiel' rushed up the stairs. "Hey, wait a-" Dean rushed up after him, watching helplessly as the weird boy opened all the doors at random.

When 'Castiel' got to Bobby's bedroom door, about to open it, Bobby pulled it open and 'Castiel' froze. "What in tarnation are you boys doing up here?" Bobby exclaimed. Dean glanced at Jimmy- 'Castiel' or whatever his name is again - and then back at Bobby.

"Bobby," 'Castiel' finally said, and for a second there Dean was caught off guard by how deep his voice was. Again. It's weird hearing Jimmy talk like that after years of, well, talking normally.

"Yeah? An' what da'ya want, boy?" Bobby clearly wanted to go back to sleep.

"I'm," 'Castiel' took a deep breath. "I'm not Jimmy."

"Really now? Then who are you?" he said, very sarcastically.

"My name is Castiel, and Jimmy summoned me, using one of John Winchester's books," 'Castiel' held the book out to Bobby through the door frame. Dean had no idea what to do or think at this point. Everything's too weird for it to /not/ be a dream.

Bobby looked down at the weird book, and then back at 'Castiel'. He looked worried and serious now. "Where's Jimmy?"

"I don't know. He could still be in here, but considering he hasn't kicked me out yet-"

"I know. I figured," Bobby silenced - Dean guessed it really was him by now - Castiel, and waved him off. Castiel stepped to the side and Bobby led the way downstairs into the living room. He sat at his dirty, book covered desk and started reading the mystical book intently. Dean and Castiel were sitting awkwardly on the ground, waiting for Bobby to say something.

But since he didn't and probably wouldn't anytime soon, Dean turned to face Castiel and he asked him: "So, what were you guys talking about earlier? The whole 'Jimmy' thing."

Castiel eyed Dean and then responded: "The rules of being in a vessel are simple; you can only be in one if the owner allows you to is the first rule. But, Jimmy hasn't kicked me out of his body yet, so it either means he likes me in here, he's too shocked to do anything, or he's...gone."

Dean frowned. "What do you mean 'gone'?"

Castiel glanced up at Bobby and then back to Dean, looking solemn. "'Gone' could either mean he 'left' or...."

"'Or'? 'Or' what?" Dean didn't like where this was going.

"He...may not have survived the impact."

Dean froze.

"Well..." he said after a few moments. Castiel was looking at the ground. "If he left, where would he have gone?"

"I don't know," Castiel replied. "His soul could be roaming around, I guess," he slowly formed the words, like he wasn't sure he was using them correctly, and then looked up at the ceiling; his eyes moving around the place as if to look for the boy's soul. Dean followed his gaze and looked up, too. He didn't know what to think about his friend's soul 'roaming around'. And he didn't want to think about that other option.

"Well, can you get him back?"

"I don't know," Castiel turned his head to look at Dean, who was still looking at the ceiling. "I guess that's what Bobby is trying to figure out now," he said as he turned to look at Bobby, who was still skimming through the book.

"Yeah, and it'd be much easier if you two idjits stopped talking," Bobby suddenly said, and both boys grew stunned for a second. Dean turned his head at Jim-, Castiel, and wondered how this seriously could all be happening. Castiel stared right back, and Dean mustered an awkward, small smile, as if to reassure Castiel as much as himself, that this is totally not a weird situation at all right now. Dean still thought this was just some weird game - or a dream at least - that Bobby just went along with.


End file.
